A Most Grounding Experience

For more than 10 years now, I have been a vinyasa teacher, and my students are drawn to my classes because of my style, flow and corny jokes (at least that is what they tell me).  In my own personal practice, I love a quick vinyasa class as well, and recently I am loving heated classes.  I know I should focus more on a traditional Hatha practice or even a restorative or Yin practice, but I just love getting my heart rate up.

Last night, I made a quick decision to take a heated vinyasa class that was given specifically for the full moon.  Normally this class a fast paced class with an amazing soundtrack that does wonders for my mind and spine.  Last night though, the practice was an LSD (Long, Slow and Deep) class in more ways than one.  It was taught to the soundtrack of Dark Side of the Moon by Pink Floyd., the only light was from the full moon which shone through the windows of the studio, the class was wall to wall with people and it seemed the temperature was exceptionally hot.

I needed this class on a few different levels, but before I get into that.. have you ever experienced an "Ah Ha!" moment in a yoga class? or in any situation really?  For me lately, whenever I can sneak in my own practice, which usually consists of me finding a sub for a class I need to be teaching. It's to escape the day, escape the thoughts and just move.  I needed that "Ah Ha" moment, but I do realize they can't be forced.

As we started moving through the moon salutation series slowly in class, my immediate thoughts went directly to my physical body.. my spine, which wasn't performing as I had wanted it to.  It was moving a lot slower than normal, which was ironic because this normally fast paced class, was much slower than it normally is. It was almost like my spine was forcing me to slow down.    Recently everything on me seems slower. You see, I gave up caffeine..cold turkey.. and boy was I paying for it.  Although I firmly believe had I not made this decision, my heart was going to explode from the amount of caffeine I was consuming and from the very noteworthy heart palpitations I was getting.  I went from hitting the ground running, to struggling to stay awake during the day and dealing with a very very annoying headache.

As the class progressed, I started to notice my spine less and my thoughts more. I really try to keep all my thoughts at bay when I am practicing, for this is my time for a moving meditation, no matter how fast paced the class is.  With the slower pace of this class, the immense heat, and the fantastic soundtrack that was turned up so loud you could barely hear the instructor, my thoughts were very very present.  Instead of fighting myself, I decided to let it ride and see what was there.

It is always shocking to me what you think about during your day that is so inconsequential, yet just needs to be dealt with in order for it to subside. Silly things like laundry or food shopping always creep up. Once you can resolve those thoughts, the bigger ones start to percolate.  Those were the ones I was trying to avoid... no one likes to reveal themselves TO themselves.  I decided to let it ride.. with each breath and each movement the thoughts kept coming, demanding to be looked at and dealt with.. and so.. I did.  My breathe took me to the next pose, and my mind took me through the thoughts and suddenly it was just me in this room, with the amazing energy of those surrounding me, as if they knew I needed assistance.

And for the first time in a LONG time, I didn't feel any anxiety, I didn't feel  any panic, I was just able to feel what it was like to be me.. Stephanie.. with the layers peeled back and the movement organic through body and mind.  And I have to say what a difference that made.. my hour long "Ah Ha" moment.

Today just feels like an extension of last night.. I am more grounded, more organized and more focused.. and a little more at ease with myself.. what more can you ask for in a yoga class?

The Change

I don't know anyone who would disagree with me that yoga helps create change. You hear that so often in yoga classes, to observe your breath, notice the difference in your body in the beginning of the class to the end of the class... But is this the change we speak of? Are there other ways yoga promotes change?

Change occurs in ways that go sometimes unnoticed. Physical change is usually the first part of the "yoga shift" that we see. We notice our hamstrings are a little more pliable because triangle pose is slightly less excruciating. We see that our upper body is getting stronger because we don't feel like we will break our nose in Chataranga. Physical progress is great, it's immediate proof that we are actually seeing a shift towards a healthier, stronger body.

But what about the other stuff that starts to change from a continual yoga practice, the more subtle stuff. The stuff that flutters through your mind briefly, but still has you take notice.

A fantastic conversation was had by my teacher trainers a few months ago about how you start to take a look at the people in your life and realize you no longer have anything in common. Maybe it's a distant friend, or maybe it's your best friend. These are some changes that are more subtle, but extremely profound.. And leaves you speechless. How do you handle this?

This has happened to me quite a few times, and I always react the same way.. With a feeling of sadness. Sad that one of us has grown and one of us has stayed.. And the hardest thing is trying to figure out which one grew. We all know this answer, but are we willing to admit it and keep on changing, or are you going to stay in status quo because it's "easier." Yoga teaches us to grow, and shift and break old patterns and create new better ones. This cycle never stops, shift happens and it's what you do with it that is the most important.

Kancho Cameron Shayne, the founder of Budokon Yoga said something to me last year that was so profound I shall never forget it..he said to me " stop hiding behind your story, the way you do anything is the way you do everything...". And boy was he right...The way we do even the slightest things reflects how we handle outlives in its entirety. Yoga helps us see this, if we are willing. Are you willing?